I stared and stared at the cop expectantly to raise his hand and blow the whistle so that I could start my work. In time, the whistle was blown and the hand was raised. I at once launched myself into unsavoury occupation as I hopped and limped…yes, limped!
About 6 years back in the busy streets of Hazratganj while I was trying to toss in some coins, I realized late when a huge car smashed into left side of my body. I was unconscious and lay bleeding profusely on the road. I knew I had no one who would remotely care apart from a mentally challenged guardian and my partner who was sitting across the road not realizing what happened!
Someone must have taken me to nearby civil hospital where a painful injection was thrust in on my hip. I don’t know till now whether it was to make me feel better for my whole life or to make me feel better just for that moment so that the hospital authorities could get rid of me and my useless half body as soon as possible!
I do not know when I came around. However, when I did, I walked towards my home with torn clothes and a fractured limb. The moment I reached, I saw my guardian, Badshaah, sitting in the same posture knowing nothing! I went close to him. Badshaah gave me a smile. He looked at my limb and offered me a crumpled cloth smeared with whitener, no words, no compassion, only a familiar look and the cheapest substitute for dope. This was a way of keeping our spirits high! Obviously, we had no money to buy any other form of intoxication…but both Badshaah and I had this dream of earning loads of coins one day and spending it on Hash, Yes! It is a beautiful dream for us.
Nevertheless, right now, my Hash was waiting for me in that cloth. I went to a corner; it was then that I realized the shooting pain of my crippled body. I bought the cloth near my nostrils and took a deep sniff! Aaaaaaahhh…what a high! Took in two deep drags and I was done for the evening! Time for money again. With my pain reaching its highest, I attempted to get to the signal. Again, there was that familiar red light as life on the streets came to standstill! I limped and went across to my clients. I generally work on my sixth sense. After all these years, I know who would shell and who would not. However, today it was somewhat different. Pain was overwhelming and obscured my sixth sense. I loitered aimlessly knocking at every window and touching various feet.
By the time, I could touch the third car, the green light came on and everyone rushed as if to join a rat race of life to overtake each other.
I decided to step aside before the rat race dragged me!
As I stepped aside, I saw Badshaah engrossed in counting his money. I walked up to him and asked, “ey Badshaah, did you get a lottery”. Badshaah looked up and grinned.
Many times, I had to comprehend Badshaah’s weird expressions. The grin was quite confusing. It could mean either somebody had been extremely benevolent today or maybe it was his savings, which he was counting with pride!
I could not comprehend; hence, I compelled him to tell me. To my shock, he stood up and did a small skit. He jumped, put his hand in his back pocket and took out a black wallet!
This was a shock…a wallet!!??? That too with Badshaah!!??? After all, where did it come from? I snatched it from him and looked at it. To my horror, I found an identity card inside the wallet. The identity card belonged to Pankaj Sharma, SP (City). I went over to Badshaah with extreme fear and I asked him where he managed to get that goddamn thing! @@@?
It was strange, as both Badshaah and I had never thought of picking pockets. Our lives were much comfortable spreading hands before others rather than trying hands on other’s pockets! I could not digest the fact that Badshaah could have even collected enough courage to flick a top cop’s wallet! I hit him on his head and told him of the consequences.
It was obvious that our lives would inevitably be messed for good if any such thing happened with a cop; never mind even if we were not habitual offender in police record. The protectors of the law would easily brand us as born criminals. I did not know what to do; running away would mean giving them surety of our crime.
I held Badshaah by the neck and shook him for this. He panicked, got jittery and started shouting, his eyes filled with hatred and a feeling, which was unusual, and I could not make out anything of it! He pushed me aside and sobbed like a kid. I could guess something was terribly wrong. Hence, I took him to a corner and asked him peacefully as to what had gone wrong and what made him commit that perilous act!
Badshaah looked at the cops sitting at the booth sipping tea. Finally he spoke! It was rare with Badshaah to speak and not listen. Not that he was dumb but it was completely his decision to stay silent for the major part of his life. As of now, he hazarded breaking his golden silence as he began to narrate the whole incident.
He told me the moment the speeding car had hit me, the cops thought I was dead and were ready to throw me as soon as possible. At that moment, Badshaah stepped in and begged them to take me to the hospital. As he was there at the hospital with me when I was unconscious, he took out whatever money he had collected since days to get me requisite treatment. Nevertheless, the moment he took out all the money, a cop who was there on duty rudely snatched it. Badshaah struggled and cribbed. He begged in vain for his money so that he could get me the injections and medicines. The cop vanished with the money and instructed the nurse to inject me with sedative. Badshaah shocked by the inhuman and exploitative behaviour of the cop, returned to the streets with a overwhelming sense of revenge. Opportunity soon came his way. He flicked the SP’s wallet when the uncontrollable mob had crowded him.
Finally, I understood the reason why Badshaah took the most unthinkable step. I held his hand and consoled him. I did not want to teach or tell him that this is life and this is how the world is because he himself had seen so much of it!
Life continues the same way. Just that I feel my health deteriorating day by day. I went for a blood test in a nearby free check-up camp as it was free-of-cost and we loved anything that had no value attached to it.
I have my reports today. For me they were mere words scribbled in black. However, the doctors say, I was tested HIV+. They injected me with a used syringe at the hospital! I am poor…my guardian mentally challenged…I have no power…and have no knowledge!
Ignorance is bliss and we lead a blissful life, no matter how short it is! Think about it!
I’ll pay the price till my life is there with me for the crimes that I have committed!
“I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out”
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